The Ajay Effect

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight we will be discussing a rather interesting topic. Irrespective of who, where or when, THIS certain something is a given in EVERY household with a fridge. By now some of you may have realised what I'm getting at. For those who, in the general public still find themselves, for some weird reason, clueless, I'll tell you what I'm talking about in just a few moments. Just answers these questions first.

Do you live with your parents or some other relatives ?

Do you have a fridge at home ?

Do you find yourself losing things in your fridge ?

Are there more than 44,363 million different things in your fridge ?

If the answers of all these questions are more or less "yes" (need not be true for the first one :P ) , then you my friend, are experiencing what is being popularised as the "Ajay Effect". This strange effect is very simple to understand once you know how it works. There are just two laws to it:

1) Stuff that needs to go into your fridge is always GREATER than the capacity of your fridge (equal to only in anomalous case i.e. when your friends come to raid it).

2) You will NEVER be able to find what you want before you lose your patience. In the rare case that you do, the item you seek will require you to empty more-or-less an entire row of your fridge. This is a fundamental law and is of no mathematical significance as such.

Well... I hope I helped you sort THAT out.... It is after all a MUST to always remain informed about the things around you, especially when it comes to something important like food. I'm off now. Gonna go and look for some 7up and go high again. Well... that is if I find it first ;)

Billionaire Gone Fishing

I

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Charles surveyed the courtyard of his newly acquired villa by the cliff. 'Its beautiful', he thought. All he wanted was some peace and quiet of his own and he was going to get it no matter what. He'd found the house up for sale at a ridiculously low price and snapped it up immediately. He had wondered then, 'What could possibly be wrong with it for it to be so unjustifiably priced ?'. He had asked his broker, but the man had no idea either. Well, he wasn't exactly the one to look the gift horse in the mouth but something about this house made him tingle. At 35, he was single and one of the most affluent and successful business men in the world, but that came at the price of not being able to spend even a moment's peace. It was funny how someone as rich as him couldn't afford some peace and quiet in his own backyard and hence, the hide-away.

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II

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No one knew about this house of his. He had paid the broker through second and third parties and was determined to see that no one invaded this sanctuary of his. He walked up the stairs of the main hall and turned left and started off towards the west wing. This is where he would sleep he decided. This side faces the cliff and he could see the waves crashing into the rocks below from his bedroom window. The large four-poster bed occupied most of the southern wall and the rest of the space was reserved for his shelf and chest. The mahogany dressing table was opposite to the window, which was covered by thick red drapes, giving the room a warm aura. He walked out of the room, closing the door and headed back down to the main hall. He decided to go and check out the beach. He had learned earlier that there was a small pathway from the grounds that led directly to the sea-side. There was a relatively large strip of fine sand which was part of the grounds, meaning his own private beach. The idea excited him. He hated public beaches for the sheer numbers that came there and it had been his desire since he was child, to own a beach of his own. He located the path easily enough. There had been some under-growth but it was nothing unmanageable. He carefully made his way down, avoiding the thorns. This was another intriguing thing about Charles. He was a self made man and this fact was often hidden by his huge wealth. So even though he was rich, it was not as if he was unfamiliar to hardships. For his age, he was in perfect condition. His toned muscles a testimony to his hours of swimming, he was far from frail. He finally made it down to the beach itself. The view awaiting him was breath taking. The sun was just setting and the sea was azure blue, a 'painters dream' as they call it. He looked back to the strip of inviting white sand, when he saw something he hadn't noticed before.

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III

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The woman was sitting near the shore, in front of a make-shift canvas. She wore an odd assortment of clothing, what looked like a two-piece top of some soft and silvery material and a curious looking shell-like hair clip held her brilliantly red hair in place, but it wasn't her clothing that Charles was looking at. He was least concerned about this. The lady, she was stunningly beautiful. He felt his breath leave him and he could swear that his heart was beating a hundred times faster. He cautiously approached her, careful as to not startle her. As he moved closer, he saw that there was a strange cloth wrapped and tucked in around her legs. She seemed to be completely engrossed in her painting and he, in her. She was the woman of his dreams. The famed 'perfect' lady, who would steel the gazes and breath of all men. This was her. She was right here, sitting on his beach and painting the perfect picture, but only thing, as far as he was concerned, she was his perfect picture. He walked up to her and admired the way she had captured the setting sun so well.

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IV

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She must have heard him or sensed his presence in some way because she suddenly turned around and looked up at him, startled. "Hey", he said with a smile "that's some painting you've got there." She returned his smile slowly, her bright green eyes scanning him, trying to decide whether he was danger or not. "Hello", she said. "I didn't notice there was someone else on this beach." "Well, I just bought that house off that cliff up there", he pointed "and the broker said I owned the beach too." "Oh", she said and blushed red, greatly flustered. "I'll leave immediately. I'm terribly sorry, the previous owner allowed me... I didn't know... I'm leaving right now." "No, please, stay. I have absolutely no problem with you treating this beach as if its your own", he said, secretly hoping she would agree for he would die if he could never see her again. "Thank you very much. I live in the villa out by the other side of the beach and my servant carried me out today and it was such a wonderful day. He's promised to be back in an hour though I must say, he is a little late. My legs are weak from birth and I have a little trouble moving around on my own", she stated bravely. "Think nothing of it, my dear. All the more time for me to enjoy your company ", he said with a grin realising that he had fallen hard for the girl. "So, have you finished the painting ?", he enquired. She bit her lip, once again channelising all her attention onto her creation. "Its missing something", she stated after a thought. "I need to draw someone swimming out into the sea but I can't seem to visualize it" "Ah", he said "I can help you there." "Oh would you ?" she asked, her eyes sparkling. 'Could anyone refuse those eyes ?', he wondered. He started stripping off his clothes. It was as if he was completely captivated by her. 'This is what it means to be put under some one's spell', he thought, for he had never experienced it before. He dove into the water, with his thought still elsewhere and the sudden coldness brought him back to reality. 'What am I doing in here ?!', he wondered and suddenly remembered the mysterious girl on the beach. He turned around in the water to wave to her, but found that she was no longer on the beach. He heard a sudden screech and suddenly felt himself being pulled into the water. The last thing he remembered before the darkness took him, was the flashing of a large fish-tail against the setting sun.

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V

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The next day there was an uproar the New York Stock market. The Charlton Company shares were dropping severely in price and there was general chaos created by the rumors of the death of the owner. All the speculation was brought to a rest after the piece on the Sunday Times :

"The police of Cornwall have found what has been confirmed to be the clothes of the Billionaire industrialist Charles Wayne. He is suspected to have drowned off the coast and the search is still on for his body. He is survived by..."

The Mythological Mermaids of the Greek Isles are anything but a myth...

No Guns in Heaven

Andrew looked at the defeated expression on Sabrina's face as he pulled the trigger. The shot gun exploded in his right hand and most of what used to be her gut lay on the floor. With a cry of desperation and anger, her boy friend Chuk ran at him, all his fury making him forget his fear. 'Admirable', thought Andrew, 'but not good enough.' The gun blasted part of his face and blood splattered across the wall. The teacher was covering the rest of the students, frightened to wit's end, trying desperately to inch towards the door. He shot her from the back and she fell on the rest of her 6th Grade students, crushing them under her weight. 'You didn't do anything for me Mrs. Summers', he thought with menace. He spotted Billy, crouching under the table and his fury returned anew. Two shots in the chest had him sprawling on the floor, dead. Someone was running towards the door, got to the knob and was about to turn it. 'Not a chance', thought Drew. He blasted Peter, sending him rick rocketing onto the wall. He looked around. All around him there was carnage. If only they had saved him, let him live. He slowly felt himself dissipating, disappearing from the face of the earth forever. "Wake up son ! Wake up !". He blinked and looked up to see God staring at him with concern. "Come and see." He followed god up the dais and looked into the well. It was in the cemetery. They were lowering a body. There was Sabrina, with her pretty little eyes sparkling in tears and Chuk, holding her hand, trying hard not to cry. Peter was standing next to Mrs. Summers who was crying openly and his mother was looking on silently, as the body was lowered, her grief not showing. He strained to hear what the Priest was saying. God, as though sensing this, magnified the voice. "Here lies Andrew Jones. May he rest in peace. He was a good boy and a great man. Loved and respected by all. May he find solace in the arms of god", the voice was fading away. 'It was a dream', realised Andrew. 'Of course it was. They don't sell guns in heaven.'

Fin

The Doppelganger Strikes Back !!!

Well.... its like this you see.... Here I was minding my own business walking to the book store to waste some precious time of mine *which I already have loads of* and suddenly, out of the blue, unexpectedly, implausibly.... *well... you get the picture* I see myself wearing the same pale lavender shite and khaki 3/4th that I was wearing yesterday staring at me from the entrance of this huge house.... 'Its just your imagination.', I said to myself. 'You're not going to die. Don't worry. There is no such thing as a Doppelganger'. While I was trying to knock this into my already information un-friendly skull, our man a.k.a me.... er no wait.... him as in me.... if that makes anymore sense... disappeared into... you guessed it... thick air !!! - pollution =) *well... that's what always happens before the "second closer look" doesn't it ?! *

Now, come back.... 10 days later....

Its like 7:30 in the night and I yet again find myself minding my own business, sitting in-front of the computer, NOT looking at the game my brother is playing on the X-Box.... when lo and behold *hold your breath* ... the power goes off.... now for those of you who have trouble imagining a power cut in Chennai, its like sitting inside an oven with the lights off..... 'Wait', you say, 'What's the difference if the lights are on or off in the oven ?' Ah... it makes all the difference... at least when the light is on... you can see what's cooking =P

Well anyway... this is the kinda situation I find myself in... when what I decide to do is, to climb up the terrace in my house. You'd think I would stop at that, enjoy a little non-existent sea breeze but no... uh-huh... not ME.... I had to go and climb up the tank too didn't I.... now the thing with the tank is that there isn't any parapet wall up there.... its a good 35 feet off the ground and its a sheer fall all the way down on two of the four sides.... I stand up there with my hands spread out finally realising why Leanardo De Caprio Enjoyed this so much in the Titanic.... well... anyway, I stand up there, sans Rose and enjoy the twinkling stars above my head and decide 'This is the Best !'. I sit down, and enjoy stretching out, and after a moment's hesitation on lying down with a white shirt, I decide a little stain isn't something my washing machine can't handle, and so I settle myself comfortably on the cold floor... I don't know exactly when... but after enjoying the view of all the stars above my head, *The Tare Zameen Par Song playing over and over in my head* the darkness takes me and I fall asleep.... only to be rudely awaken by none other then my own little brother. I blink twice, resisting the impulse to call him what was in my head at that time. I look around to see one of my hands sticking out at the end of the floor. Whew.... would that have been a painful "Getting up in the wrong side of the bed". On closer observation, I find my mother standing down there, wearing an expression of utmost anger and from the looks of it resisting the impulse to come up here herself and knock me off.... I learn from my oh-so-helpful and not to mention *cough* life-saving *cough* brother that its 9:30 already... Oh-Boy... is this going to be one LOOOONG night.... *sigh* Anyway, after much lashing and thrashing, I manage to somehow crawl away from my mother and her dreadful wrath. Fuming, but still thanking my narrow escape, I said to myself... you're gonna have to try harder than that doppel buddy. My mother shoots me a look as if she can hear me think. I give a sheepish smile and return to my room, exhausted. Its true that if you survive the first attempt, you get away right ?! Right ?! Desperately trying to reason with my self that I would be the doppelganger for my doppelganger and the poor bloke is probably dead by now, for going off to sleep on a building much like myself, I welcome the darkness, this time in the safety of my bed, but not before arranging pillows on all four sides first. We wouldn't want him to get too many chances now would we ?! ;)

A Damn Cute Video

So damn sweeeet ><

If I were a...

If I were a beginning, I would be : Time
If I were a month, I would be : December
If I were a day of the week, I would be : Friday
If I were a time of day, I would be : Mid-night
If I were a planet, I would be : Mars
If I were a season, I would be : Winter
If I were a sea animal, I would be : Shark
If I were a direction, I would be : East
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be : Bed
If I were a sin, I would be : Wrath
If I were a liquid, I would be : Mercury
If I were a scare, I would be : Lucifer
If I were a gem, I would be : Ruby
If I were a tree, I would be : Oak
If I were a tool, I would be : Hammer
If I were a flower/plant, I would be : Grape Vine
If I were a kind of weather, I would be : A Thunder Storm
If I were a musical instrument, I would be : A Guitar
If I were an animal, I would be : A Lion
If I were an emotion, I would be : Curiosity
If I were a vegetable, I would be : A Cauliflower
If I were a sound, I would be : A Scream
I were an element, I would be : Iron
If I were a car, I would be : A Ferrari
If I were a song, I would be : Boulvard of Broken Dreams
If I were a food, I would be : Ramen
If I were a place, I would be : The Sahara
If I were a material, I would be : Steel Wire
If I were a taste, I would be : Spicy
If I were a scent, I would be : Sandlewood
If I were a religion, I would be : Fought Over
If I were a sentence, I would be : A Moral
If I were a body part, I would be : The Eye
If I were a facial expression, I would be : The Thought
If I were a subject in college, I would be : Calculus
If I were a shape, I would be : Hexagon
If I were a quantity, I would be : A Quantum
If I were a colour, I would be : Red
If I were a thing, I would be : Fire
If I were a landmass, I would be : Antartica
If I were a book, I would be : An Archie
If I were a monument, I would be : The Niagra Falls
If I were an artist, I would be : Leanardo Da Vinci
If I were a collection of poems, I would be : Forgotten
If I were a landscape, I would be : The Grand Canyon
If I were a watch, I would be : Swatch
If I were God, I would be : Strener
If I were a vowel, I would be : A
If I were a consonant, I would be : X
If I were a formula, I would be : F = ma
If I were a Science, I would be : Physics
If I were a theory, I would be : The Chaos Theory
If I were a famous person, I would be : William Sheaksphere
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be : An External Storage Device
If I were sport, I would be : F1
If I were a movie, I would be : The Road to El Derado
If I were a cartoon, I would be : Calvin
If I were an explorer, I would be : Indina Jones
If I were a scientist, I would be : Albert Einstein
If I were a relation, I would be : Functional
If I were a river, I would be : Siene
If I were intoxication, I would be : Red Wine
If I were alone, I would be : At Peace
If I were a question, then I would be : How ?
If I were a hobby, I would be : Origami
If I were a habit, I would be : Chewing Gum
If I were in an atom, I would be : Small ?! =p
If I were an end, I would be : Here...
If I were you, I would be : Doomed

Ten Things You Have To Do With Your Significant Other

I decided to compile a list of ten things you have to do with the person of your dreams...

1) A walk in the rain
2) Go to the movies
3) Have dinner
4) Hug
5) Run a race
6) Feed some pigeons
7) Kiss
8) Go shopping
9) Write poems
10) Talk till the wee hours of the morning

Obviously not in that order... but these are some of the basic must dos... Well... what're you waiting for ?! Go have some fun right now !!!

The Hight of Highness

Suppose something that was already soooo good... that you can't possibly fathom it getting better.... became a hell of a lot more brilliant ? Well.... that's how I found myself.... extremely dazed and red.... at 9.00 in the night... in a dark and cozy lane with the girl of my dreams..... yay !! Life has finally taken an upward turn ::drinks to all of your health and well-being:: I'm in a great mood.... so go ahead.... ask me for anything.... and I'll grant it if its within my power *note: offer valid till stocks last. Terms and conditions apply. Product available without this offer as well* lol... I just HAD to say that :P so.... looks like somebody up there and down here as well loves me *yipee*.... for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term highness or have general confusion in attaining exceeding states of downright unreasonable happiness or joy... THIS is HIGHNESSSSSS....... or... in plain English... I'm high.... and that's that..... g'day.... g'bye... sweet dreams.......... take care.... I'll catch you all later.... and I for one am ONE lucky guy !! :P

Status Update

Hi all.... It's been a while hasn't it ?! Almost a month since the last post... Well... considering March was a massive pain in the back-side all the way from 1st thru 31st... it isn't surprising if you see other misbegotten souls much like myself taking it easy during this time.... nothing much... just doing some light reading from Resnick and Halliday or Morsen and Boyd or attending 6 straight HOURS of class or the like... like I said before... nothing strenuous.... just the kinda stuff ANY 16-18 year old has to do to "make" it BIG in life... sigh... gimme a break.... we all have to go thru with it but we ALL hate it ... irrespective of the age of the individual/party in question, so why not abolish it already ? Instead of commenting on the "Evils of Staying-up and Studying" or "Not Putting Effort when/where its most needed", someone should have the bright idea of commenting on "The Evils of Our Education System" or maybe on "When to Drop out of School" :P well... that certainly would be MOST welcomed.... I mean c'mon ! Its insane to pack off what people spend WHOLE life-times with, in just one friggin' year... I mean don't we get a say on what we want to DO and what we DON'T ?! No fair... I can decide for my self..... I'm legal already.... *well, almost legal anyway* and besides, by the time you read this I'm probably legal, a father of two and not to mention dead already ~~ *please read this again like 80-90 years from now so that I'm not wrong* Well... anyways... the much dreaded BOARDS are over.... cet fini *excuse my french* Hastallavista Baby :P and then its all gone............ and lo and behold ! What unfathomable evil rears it's head instead ?! The much dreaded ENTRANCES *deja vu ?!*
From the frying pan into the fire literally.... and with god knows what all rumors about the patterns in various "MOST-IMPORTANT EXAM IN YOUR LIFE" exams, we're in much more need of de-stressers then the likes of Bull-Ring fighters a.k.a Matadors... Well I don't know about you but I'm gonna rustle (pun unintended) up some HAM burgers sans ham of course (of course.... I'm a vegetarian.... go green ! - PeTA *sorry bout that.... damn commercials are taking up my time here too* ) and get all the rest I can.... I'll be back, so be in time for some more ranting....... cheers :)


P.S. The Story "Lips of an Angel" Part II is complete... here's the link for those who are too lazy to scroll : http://thebookofthedamned.blogspot.com/2007/08/lips-of-angel-part-ii-sorrow.html

P.P.S. If you DON'T understand what I'm talking about, scroll *yes dammit... I know its work but just do it* down and read the first part first.... *like d-uh*...